http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsfUk99FT7kI
If every day you demanded more from yourself than anyone else could expect of you, if it wasn't the standards of what other people think, but the standards of what you are capable of, if that was the "must" for you not the "should," then would you eat differently every day? If you came home tired, yet you still had that must that you exude love and passion to your spouse or friend every day and have a higher standard on yourself than your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse could ever imagine. If that was the standard for yourself, how would you show up on a daily basis in your relationship? People who are the best at an area of life have those standards.
(20:53) One of the things that changes your life is when you think you've hit your highest standard, what makes life never the same again is when you literally decide that there is a higher standard for you. When you decide there is more, and that's a conscious decision. You see it in an athlete when there's nothing physically inside of them it appears, and no one else expects it from them, but they reach down inside and they step up. And you can just see it, its determination. Its will, its faith, its courage, its passion. You may have other ways of languaging what you want, but what you're hoping for are those core feelings. Those core feelings are things that you can have in a heartbeat, you just must exert them. But it starts with even the way you move.
I want you to think about constantly raising the standard, because if you are in life in a position where you do a poor job at something, and that's your standard. You know on a regular basis you don't even do a good job, you're pretty poor at it. In life if you do a poor job what kinds of results do you get? Poor. That's what I used to think too, if you did a poor job you got poor results, that makes sense. But that's not how life is rigged. If you do a poor job, you get no rewards. If you do a poor job, you get the door. If you do a poor job too often you're outta here, you get downsized, rightsized, outsourced. Isn't that true? You do a poor job in a relationship, that person's not going to stick around. You do a poor job with your kids, they end up in jail. Poor=pain, poor there are no rewards for poor. It's not an equal deal poor job does not equal poor rewards.
Now the next level of standards is a huge jump, way up here to something called good. Now when you do a good job at something, what kind of rewards do you get? Some of you say good rewards. No that's wrong. I tell you what happens to me every day of my life. I get stopped every single day of my life by at least a dozen people and they tell me incredible stories about how their life has changed, but they'll say something like, "Mr. Robbins," and they're really serious, and you can see some pain and they go, "you know, I watched you on t.v. and I thought that if i ever met you i'd ask you this question: I'm really a good man, but how come my wife left me?" or and its heartbreaking, she'll say, "I'm really a good wife, why did my husband leave me?" or "I really care about my kids, how come they hate me? How come my kids are on cocaine?" And it tears me up inside because I care so much about people, and I can't tell them what the truth is. The truth is, you did a good job. And that's the problem. Because when you do a good job, what kind of rewards do you get? poor. So the bottom line is, most people here are trying to do a good job, and most people here are really good. I was a good man, and I was fat, I was overweight, and in the emotional sense I was broke, financially I was broke, spiritually I was wiped out, and I was a good guy. And I was so frustrated because I said I was good. You gotta know good's not good enough.
Now I know good is something you wouldn't settle for here, you're all overachievers here right? Poor is not even in the realm of possibility, good is just for wusses, you guys are all up here with a thing called excellence!!! AM I right? *applause* That's what I thought. How many of you are committed to excellence say I!! Now when you do an excellent job at something, what kind of rewards do you get? Haha, good rewards. And you know, that really annoys you doesn't it? Have you ever achieved a goal, you went for it you achieved it, you made it happen, and then you went, "is this all there is?" It's kind of like a depressing moment isn't it? Because you worked so hard for it, you achieved the goal and you're still not happy. That's because you were really excellent. See excellence is like you're one of the best, you do an excellent job, you don't just do good and you're certainly not poor for God's sakes, so therefore you should have bigger rewards emotionally or financially or in your career or your relationship for being excellent right? Nope. You go there's nothing left in me, I've given my all. Nope, you've not given your all. There's that little piece that you haven't gotten to, and if you get to it, you get all the rewards. Because if this is poor, there's a huge jump to good, and a huge jump to excellence, and here's the good news: all the rewards are at the next level. And they are disproportionate, I mean they are like way beyond what you can imagine, and the good news is, they are about this much higher (INCHES!) above excellence.
And that level right there, just a few inches above, is called outstanding! And when you are outstanding, when you stand out from all the rest, in your courage, in your commitment, in your passion, your persistence, love, dedication, skill set, in your whatever, you get all the rewards. And its unfair really, because you are only a little bit better than those who are excellent, but your rewards are a gazillion amount. It's just being outstanding on a consistent basis instead of being excellent. And that difference, by the way, is not usually a large skill difference, its a psychology difference, its a standard difference. It's what you hold yourself to. Did you watch the opening to the Olympics in Atlanta? When this little guy walks out, he's 97 years old, he's the oldest living gold medalist, and he walks out into the field and what happens. He walks out there and the whole stadium stands up and claps, the President cries, and I mean why? They don't even know who this guy is! It's because he was outstanding probably 40,50,60, 70 years ago. Think about it, that's what we value as outstanding in our culture. A good example is Kerri Strug who injured her ankle catastrophically when the US looked as a cinch to win gold in the team all arounds (27:32). She then went out there and through the agonizing pain completed her vault to ensure the golf medal. If you felt emotion in that moment and you cried or felt celebratory, there's only one reason why, because in that moment, you recognize that part of you, that's what made you moved, you know there's that part of you that's outstanding.
If you cried, it may have been that you're not fully utilizing that power in you and you realize that. If you felt celebratory, you remember that for a moment what it feels like to engage that part of you. But that only happens by a decision. Because it wasn't skill that made her carry on and win, it was heart. And that's something you have total control of. If you'll push yourself beyond anything that you thought was available, lifting a weight, I mean how do you build a bicep? You've got to demand, you've got to put a huge demand on it consistently. You have to exercise it or it atrophies, but to grow a muscle, like really build it, you've got to take on something that's much harder, much more uncomfortable, not what you plan for, not what's comfortable for you. And if you make yourself do it, even though it's uncomfortable, and you do it again and again, you get growth because as you make a demand, the muscle expands. So is true with a muscle called passion. The more you demand of it, the more it'll expand.
http://www.golf.com/tour-and-news/rory-mcilroy%E2%80%99s-trainer-reveals-mcilroys-training-regimen
If you do what you're comfortable with, you'll leave here feeling good, and you'll say, "wasn't that a cool seminar," but your life won't be changed. You'll have a great weekend that'll last a month or so. That's not why I came by. I want you to give yourself the gift of raising the standard. By the way if I'm going to do ten curls, which one of those will I want to do the least? #10. Which one gives me 90% of the growth? #11. Good people do ten, when ten is what's asked of them, excellent people usually do 10 and a little half, outstanding people always do more than what's expected of them (so 11 or more) because they're not doing it for someone else, they're doing it for what they know they are capable of. It's when you feel like you don't have an ounce left that you make yourself do it, that's when all of your life changes. So imagine you've come to the mental, emotional, and spiritual gym. I'm respectful of whatever you believe, whatever you believe I say, practice it. But spirituality is not just religion, its the way you live your life. So if you entered the physical, emotional, and spiritual gym then what you'd be there for is to push yourself harder than ever before, because if you go in that gym and you just hang out, you're going to get exactly what you put into this gym (30:21).
Now let me tell you a mistake most of people make their life. They live by the philosophy of "someday" Someday I'll be able to feel the way I want to feel when I meet a certain person, when I achieve a certain income, when I get a certain position in my business, when I finally turned things around, when I finally physically fit. Someday when. And then that "Someday" never shows up. Because you meet that person and you say, "did I really make the right choice?" that really empowers the relationship, right? Or they make the money and people worry they're going to lose it. Or they achieve the job, and then they worry someone else is going to get that position. So someday never comes. So one of the things you've got to do is to learn to train your nervous system to feel good. How many people find that when you feel good, you're not just happy, you actually perform better and you also are better at treating other people as well? Then I want us to train ourselves like a muscle, to feel good, to drill that into our nervous systems, because feeling good is a physiology, its a way of moving, its a way of breathing. Because the way that you feel is totally related to the way you move. Emotion is created by motion. The more you move, the more you are gonna feel. And most people have limited emotion and have limited motion in their face and their body, they're kinda holding everything back. So what you want to do is to loosen up and be a little crazy. And the way to do that is, not to wait to have the good feelings you want. Because you think, when something happens, you're going to feel good. But who's going to make you feel good when that thing happens? You are. When I finally make that money I'll be happy. How do you know? Because when I finally get there I decide to feel good. Hahahah. Why not decide now, feel good on the way to doing that? feel both! Why wait right? Some people say, one day we'll look back and laugh on this. And I say, why wait? (32:32)
I think that peoples' lives are a direct representation of their peer group. What does that mean? Your peer group is anybody around you that you respect and you give them emotional power. What they think and what they feel affects you. You want them to like you, so at some level whether you're aware of it or not consciously, it affects you. Maybe its your family members. I don't know who your peer group is, maybe its people at work. But its people that you care what they think or what they feel, even if you say you don't. We all care at some level. Who are those people that are here for you? That's your peer group. And your life will be a direct representation of your peer group. Here's the challenge, what if you have a higher expectation for your life than the people you surround yourself with? Higher expectation for what you want in your life, for you passion, joy, love, higher expectation of what you want to accomplish, higher expectation of what you want to feel, or spirituality, whatever it is. Well now you have a conflict. Because now what will happen is, when you have a higher expectation than your peer group, your peer group who does really care about you will pull you down. Not because they're trying to pull you down, but because they don't want to lose you. So they say, come on, don't be so serious, don't be working all the time, come on relax, geez what's the matter with you? And they will find ways to undermine what's going on. Not because they don't love you, but because they do love you. Because unconsciously they say, oh my god, you might change, grow, or expand, what would that mean to me, I might be left behind. And most of us want love so much at an unconscious level, some of us on a conscious level, we want acceptance so much, that through time gradually over the years we lose what our dreams are, we lose our expectations. And what we once thought was a must is not interesting anymore, it's not even a should. Or maybe its a should someday if it all comes together.
So I would say to you, this is an opportunity to take a fresh look at your life, this is a crash course in transforming every area of your life that you want to. The value is, we're going to create an environmental standard that's extraordinary, we're going to create it together. Mark my words, whoever you spend time with, you will become. So you better choose real well. Am I saying get rid of your friends. No. Another way you can do it is you can lead. You can have such a high standard, that no matter how low the standard is below you or how nice it is, you can take it from good-->excellent--> outstanding for your friends if they have the desire and if they have enough caring to be with you. But you're going to have to make those choices. Its not the kind of conversation that you hear in a positive thinking kind of environment. I'm not saying, go surround yourself with positive people. I'm saying that you gotta make sure, that wherever you are, you at least have some core friends whose standards are so high that both of you will grow. Its like if you play tennis, you don't play someone worse than you are on a regular basis if you expect to get better. IT just doesn't happen. If you have the guts and you play someone whos better than you are and you work like crazy so you can move up. You've got to raise that standard. It's about stepping up man! You've got to decide to step up or pull back. So you've got to take a look and say, what is it that I really want? And then make some really conscious choices, and if you make those you can have more fun than ever before, its not like living a life that's totally discipline. Because discipline never lasts. Discipline is when its painful and you do it anyways. You've got to do it anyways in the beginning, but after a while it becomes natural to you because its so rewarding to play at this level called outstanding and you won't want to go back. It won't be, "oh great I've got to discipline myself again," it'll be, "this is who I am," and that's when things really shift.
Most people do a good job at what they do, but what results do you get from a good job? Poor ones. Goods not good enough, excellence is the standard you need to be committed to. You work so hard for it and achieve the goal but not fully fulfilled. You have to stand out from all the rest in your courage, persistence, love, skillset, etc. you get all the rewards. Being outstanding on a regular basis is a difference from. You know a part of you that is outstanding. It is heart and push
Someday never comes. State is everything. Who you associate to is who you will become.
You can have such a high standard that you can lead your friends to higher standards.
Any emotion you're feeling is just a pattern.
If you weren't really sad when someone died then something is wrong with you. There are other cultures that set death as the beginning.
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